a hole in one’s life

After marriage our life becomes peaceful and satisfactory. I can call it “happiness” but we still have to worry about so many things: how to save money for our old age, do we really want a baby… I always feel that those troubles would be easier to settle if I were still single for I would not even think about them. The truth is, I still have to face the troubles seriously, and trivial of life will dilute the feeling of time flying.

Sometimes he turns to be very anxious when problems occur in his work. He is trying to find a new job, to strive away from the present job, which could no longer give him enough sense of accomplishment.

What is my own problem in such a monotonous human life? I realized before we get married that no matter what kind of man I choose to spend the rest of my life with, the true path to happiness and meaningful life is all about myself. Introspection and ration—-keep a cold eye on marriage. It  is so important that every human should know that. And eventually one should also understand that even rational and restrained, with all respect, an unexpected event could still make a beast out of a good person, so never put much hope on human.

With this controversial occupation I begin to read Albert Camus. I love the Dustin Hoffman film the Graduate, which gives food to think on existentialism.

About five years ago I thought every aspect of life was becoming better without a second thought. But now this idea just evaporates. However I still hope to make life a little different from before. No matter how. To avoid confrontation with unpleasant reality is a most obvious sign of getting old and mediocre.

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